All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1 Recap/Review

All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1 Recap/Review – The points don’t matter

All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1 Recap

You can’t make an omniverse without breaking a few cosmic eggs.  Case in point – hanging by a thread at the farthest edge of all that is, the broken shell of what was once God Doom’s reality… the Battlerealm.  Time and physics have ruptured here.  Become… treacherous.  It’s a very dangerous place to find yourself trapped in.  He should know… Maestro (My-STRO) is the biggest danger here.  In the distant past – most would call it the present here, he was called the Hulk.  It’s complicated, but if his plans work out, he’ll have a simpler name… God.

He watches as his opponent’s pawn enters into the area.  His name is Venom.  A version of Eddie Brock that killed Spider-Man long ago.  He’s crazy, which makes Maestro wonder if crazy is what is needed.  But who is crazier than Venom?

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In prison, and before that, in the home, Cletus Kasady didn’t have much choice when he got up and when he went to sleep.  But now he makes his own hours.  He likes to sleep until noon.  But he’s not lazy.  He just likes to get a good eight hours of snack time in.  Every night.

Meanwhile, in the Watapur Valley within Afghanistan, some soldiers are preforming a rescue.  They are fired upon, but thanks to a new sonic defense system, the missiles are destroyed in midair.  They land and the rescue is declared a success.  The leader of this operation is a man named Colonel John Jameson, and he is approached by a special agent Claire Dixon, of the FBI.  Jameson and the sonic defense system are needed back home, to help catch a monster.

Carnage wakes up, late in the day.  It’s not a problem to be sleeping so late and being up all night, so long as he can find somewhere that serves breakfast all day.  After all, a man has to eat.

Observing this, Maestro decides there is such a thing as too crazy.  The Collector appears behind him, and the former Hulk wants to clarify something.  The Collector is one of the Elders of the Universe – a cosmic kidnapper with a multiversal reach.  Maestro wants to make sure he understands his brother’s rules.  Each player is allowed five contestants, to fight in a battleground of their choosing.  Gambling for the ultimate prize.  One champion is in play – it is up to the Maestro to select four more.    And the elder wants them to be… collectible.  Maestro has just the fighters in mind…

In Haddonfield, Illinois, some children are trick or treating.  They encounter two kids, one of which has the best costume they’ve ever seen.  The raccoon doesn’t look very realistic, but the giant tree is amazing.  They are impressed.  Rocket is not.  He threatens the kids, but they assume the gun is some sci-fi prop.  So the two Guardians get down to business.  Turns out one of the kids is an alien in disguise.  As the others flee, the alien attacks Rocket and manages to escape.  It manages to set himself up in a graveyard, and takes the mind of various kids in the area.  They begin to attack, so the Guardians flee.  Rocket Raccoon mentions just how much he hates Earth.

The Collector is not impressed.  A talking tree and rodent are not collectibles.  He tells Maestro he has a whole multiverse to draw from, and needs to think bigger.  But that’s not Maestro’s style.  While the Collector’s brother pulls champions from many different universe, which fosters dissent and division, Maestro wants one team, from one dimension.  He asks if the Collector has any suggestions, and the Elder does.

In the Himalayas, Baron Wolfgang von Strucker (Struck-herr) who is selling a weapon that can target specific genetics.  Batroc the Leaper arrives, and apologizes for being late.  He was unavoidably detained.  Earlier, the mercenary was on the run in the former grounds of Arcade’s Murderworld.  SHIELD agents manage to take him down, and perform a retinal scan on the man.  In the present, Strucker performs a retinal scan as well, and at first it doesn’t work.  Luckily, the SHIELD agent Leo Fitz is able to upload Batroc’s optical data and it passes on the second try.

Ten minutes later, Batroc has successfully purchased a map to the genetic bomb.  They would have arrested Strucker as well, but didn’t have the manpower.  The mission was only to buy the map to the genetic bomb, and Phil Coulson declares it to be a success.  Meanwhile, Leo Fitz reports in to an unknown source, confirmed that SHIELD will be busy with this new intel.  And they don’t suspect a thing…

Maestro scoffs at this.  SHIELD may have a nice database of heroes on call, and their own agents are competent enough, but he is worried that if one of their agents or contacts disappears, the agency will notice, and maybe come looking for him or her.  And Maestro can’t have that.  They need people that nobody will miss.  And the Collector has just the right people in mind.

36,000 feet above the Atlantic, Flight SA 99 is hit by a storm of Terrigan Energy.  This stuff is pretty harmless, so everybody puts on their oxygen masks.  But one of the passengers suddenly begins to transform.  The flight lands without further incident, and Crystal is called in by the military.  The inhuman has cocooned himself, and when he emerges, he’ll have new powers.  He comes out of the cocoon as an old man, but is only supposed to be twenty-three.  He collapses, and a medic rushes in to help the man.  When the Inhuman inadvertently touches the woman helping him, he drains the youth out of her.

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Crystal explains that this must be his new power, but now he has to make a choice.  The medic is old and dying now, and needs to be saved.  However, the young man is terrified of being old again.  Everything hurt, he couldn’t see or hear.  He insists he is not a bad person, so Crystal demands that he prove it.  The young man gives the youthful energy back to the medic, who is restored, and Crystal says that this means he is a good person.  And that’s a good start.

All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1 Recap/Review – The points don't matter

Maestro remembers the Inhumans.  They have a nice assortment of powers, but somebody will notice if one of them goes missing.  Medusa always kept a close eye on her people.  They’re also unseasoned, and Maestro wants a real fighter.  The Collector knows of such a man…

How the superheroes do this?  Don’t they have jobs?  Maybe they’re all just rich.  Maybe they only need a couple hours of sleep at night, or maybe they don’t have any family to worry about.  Samuel Chung isn’t so lucky.  He has to work, and has a sister to worry about.  The two fight, as Sam is an illegal immigrant, and his sister eventually goes to bed.  He knows he won’t be getting any more sleep after this, so he decides he might as well do something productive.  He gets to work.  He’s been working on a suit since he was twelve.  It was supposed to be his big break, until he found out how much it costs to file a patent, and how easy it is to steal inventions from immigrants who need to stay off the radar of the government.  But Sam invented a miracle.  An invisibility suit.  If he were an American, he’d probably be a billionaire.  But as it stand now, half of his paycheck goes to buying batteries just to keep the damn thing working.

He gears up and sets out into Chinatown.  His town.  He turns invisible, and looks for someone to help.  The problem is that Sam is untrained.  He’s been looking for other heroes to help him, but they’re tough to find.  He goes to Hell’s Kitchen, and is amazed to see Daredevil in action.  He’s blown away at what he sees, but doesn’t know how to approach the vigilante.  Suddenly, the hero turns to greet him.  This shocks Sam, who should be invisible, and in that moment, the young man accidentally falls of the edge of a building.  Luckily, Matt saves the young man.

Maestro laughs at this.  Daredevil?  Why bother with the student, when they have the master.  Why do they need a depressed lawyer?  But the Collector is not amused.  If Maestro doesn’t like his choices, than he can make his own.  However, if they lose this contest, the former Hulk loses his life.  Maestro says not to worry, he likes to pick winners.  Stick emerges victorious over Venom, and his team is declared as the winner of this match.  Game on.

All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1 Recap

Hello and welcome to Comic Island!  My name is Arden, and this is my recap, and review, of All-New, All-Different Marvel Point One #1!

Okay, let’s get this title out of the way.  I was okay with Marvel Point One.  I was frustrated with All-New Marvel Point One happening a year later.  Now?  I’m furious.  Marvel seems stuck perpetually re-branding itself and forcing out as many issues with a #1 attached to the cover as they can.  It’s insane, and becoming a real hassle for casual readers to keep up.  It’s getting to be too much happening too fast, and I’m really getting annoyed at this.

But that issue could be a whole video on its own.  Let’s talk about the actual comic.  So both Marvel and DC do occasionally have preview issues like this.  Usually it’s just a collection of various short previews advertising some new titles coming out.  Marvel is essentially doing that here, but they actually at least tried to weave this all together using the Contest of Champions as a framing device.  All told, I do like that idea, but it didn’t really work out.  Here we have Maestro declaring himself the future God of Battlerealm, with access to the entire multiverse and all those amazing characters and ideas.  And what does he do with this?  Oh, he checks in on what Daredevil and SHIELD are up to and complains about how he’s worried they might chase after him like some kind of frightened pup.  It’s ridiculous, and the whole thing feels quite disjointed as a result.

The art is amazing though, and some of the previews do really stand out.  The Daredevil part is by far the best, and I really like the idea of Matt training this new hero.  That looks cool.  Everything else… eh, I could take it or leave it.  They all come across as okay at best, and totally forced at worst.  It’s hard for me to even pretend I’m excited about any of these.  Oh boy, Marvel’s new mascots are getting their own series.  The Inhumans and SHIELD have their own series because that fits with Marvel’s movie and TV show goals…. okay?  But you know what?  I don’t give a fuck about Agents of SHIELD.  Never have, never will.  I don’t get what people see in it, so having this crap shoved down our throat is rapidly shifting from mildly annoying to UNBEARABLE. The Contest of Champions is a big event name and that’s probably going to sell a lot of comics but and while aspects of it are intriguing I can’t same I’m all that eager for a big epic story on the heels of Secret Wars.  And Carnage is… well, he’s Carnage, but there’s no way that series will be as fun or exciting as his tie-in with AXIS was, so… pass.  So out of the six series that Marvel is showcasing here, there’s only one I have any interest in.  And that’s a terrible sign overall.

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The whole thing feels like a bit of a mess, and it doesn’t help that about about a dozen writers and artists have their names attached to this behemoth of a comic.  And while Marvel has done a reasonable job of keeping the X-Men and Fantastic Four involved in their comics, that was very evident in Secret Wars and Time Runs Out, it seriously bothers me that the only characters that appear in this comic are ones that Marvel owns the rights to or has a deal with Sony over.  That’s sketchy as hell.  Not a single X-Man appears in this story, nor does anyone else Marvel doesn’t have plans for.  Even this set of files that shows up in one panel exclusively contains names  Marvel owns the rights over.  It’s a bit sickening, to be honest.  This is such obvious vertical integration.  And I get that Marvel is a business and they have every right to do this, but I have every right not to like it, too.  And no, the X-Men aren’t going anywhere, but it’s becoming very obvious where Marvel’s priorities are going to lie.

This comic retails at a very high price due to the fact that it is extra long, and the whole thing should just be called “Marvel’s Marketing Strategy for Q4 2015.”  That has about the same ring to it as All-New, All-Different Point One anyways, but this literally feels like a big advertisement that PEOPLE ARE EXPECTED TO PAY FOR!  To quote Shakespeare, “fuck that noise.”  So yes, this comic is frustrating.

So here’s what I’m making out of this whole Post Secret Wars nonsense.  I’m ignoring all of this.  Joey and I will do what we’ve always done, which is pick out a few series that we like, and that will be that.  We’ll just go about making some bigger and more ambitious projects without letting all this hype bog us down with time wasters like this.  No, I don’t recommend this advertisement, er, comic.  Don’t pay for ads guys.  Marvel is supposed to pay for its own marketing, but they know enough of their fans will buy anything that looks like it could be important, so they pull crap like this.  Nuh-uh.  I’m not buying into this, literally or figuratively.  The emperor has no clothes.  They’re just trying to sell whatever movies and TV shows are on the horizon.  It’s poop, and the smell is getting everywhere!

Gah, it’s so frustrating.  Yes, it actually isn’t that bad for what it is.  And it’s not like I didn’t get this comic expecting it not to be a series of previews.  But they’re so aggressively mediocre that all I thought while I was reading this thing is how obvious it is that this is all just cynical corporate nonsense.  And that’s… bullshit.  I don’t know how else to put it.  If they were giving this out for free in comic book stores, I actually wouldn’t mind this.  That would be okay, and it kind of works as a set of previews quite well.  But it represents everything wrong with Marvel these days.  Overpriced comics, a focus on the movie rights Marvel owns over what people actually want, and an outright refusal to really try and tell stories that they can’t in the movies.   Now it feels like they’re chasing their own shadow.  Trying to make comics based on movies that were based on the comics to begin with.  There’s no logic to that!  I had fun with Secret Wars, and thought it showed somebody was doing something right over at Marvel.  They still are.  Invincible Iron Man was a great start, and I’m sure some other excellent titles will come from the post-Secret Wars comics.  But most of this looks like pulp, and it’s really hard to look at something like this and not be at least a little worried or annoyed.

Alright, I’ve had enough ranting for one day.  Let me know what you guys think in the comments section below, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and keep reading comics.

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